January 8, 2013
Since around November last year my life has been changing and there have been increasing pressures that quite frankly have left me re-evaluating my life. The new year has brought everything to a head where all elements of my life away from sissy/little things are seemingly skating on melting ice. I will be honest at this present time I do not feel I can or indeed want to carry on with this blog or even be in the online world. I am not turning my back on who I am, but I cannot wrap myself up in it anymore, it actually feels alien to me at the moment, almost as if it’s something I want to keep just for me.
I feel at this crossroads where my lives, the online almost fantasy world of flashing words on a computer screen and the harsh but real world of life and death are ripping me apart. I have tried to create a balance and I think maybe I have and I feel that maybe this doesn’t include online, or at least the vast majority of it. Most people I meet online flitter near my flame seemingly captivated and then fly away to another light and I do the same sometimes, it’s online human nature. I have met some wonderful people mind, people who shine more than my light.
So for now at least I will say goodbye, if you email and I don’t reply, it’s only because I haven’t checked my email.
December 19, 2012
November 7, 2012
I have just started work on a new blog!
As many of you know this blog has been a journey for me, it has been about discovering who and what I am, finding my place in life and finding happiness. What I found was I was more complex than I had ever thought, yet also much simpler – ah paradox! Let me explain……….
There are often reasons behind the things we do, I am one of those people who seeks to analyse everything long before accepting. It’s like well I like this so I must be that, I did this because I am a so and so, but that conflicts with blah blah. Labels again people, love or hate them they can help or confuse. So the complex side, let’s say the sissiness, culminates itself because of the adult body, yet is mixed in with the simple – I am a baby girl.
So I have decided to create a new blog that is purely about the baby girl I truly am inside. I am a little, I guess a transgendered little and I want a blog that is just about that. I have a direction, yes fulltime still sits snuggly in my heart, it always will, but such are the restrictions of life a more realistic direction is something I want to aim for until I can be fulltime.
Someone once mentioned on some ‘fetish’ site that to ‘believe’ you are really a baby is bordering on insanity, that to develop a life around that, to devote time in pursuing it a worthless enterprise and a trip to a therapist was in order. Made me think, does that mean anyone with a lifestyle that doesn’t revolve the society standard of 2.4 kids, a mortgage and rows about whether to watch “I’m an asshole get me out of here” or “Come dine on me” (or whatever it’s called) should seek help. God help the adult baby who also is a train spotter!! But Mummy always showed me the reality *hugs*.
The problem as far as I can see is once again back to labels. Say the word sissy to most and I can guess the response, say ‘adult baby’ and again I can guess the response. Because both sissy and adult baby exist in the fetish world, they are seen as just that. Sure they exist in the fetish world, but at the same times elements of both do not. Because Mr A wears a nappy and a baby bonnet, plays with the toys he remembers from way back, let’s himself regress to that welcome stage of existence doesn’t mean he is then going to seek sexual gratification. He might, he might not. Thing is there are many many ‘adult’s’ who are adult babies for very non-sexual reasons.
With the new blog, I want to step away from the fetish element. I want to show the real me in a more specific way and the journey that she is taking and the destination she wants to reach. I have read some wonderful blogs from lifestyle littles and they were inspiring. One in particular showed how it was possible to live a little lifestyle while maintaining the necessary in terms of job and adult responsibilities. Creating a little environment at home, a sanctuary if you like. Also understanding that being a little was not age play, it was not escaping the adult world for a bit, it was being the child that is ever present, allowing that child inside to exist.
I am keeping this blog open, it still has relevance, it also helps me and my sissiness, pansiness and all the other elements that float around inside me. I just need to separate the little I am, explore this more and give her air to breathe.
September 27, 2012
This post is dedicated to my new friend Evie who has one of the biggest hearts.
Evie is a little, she, like me, identifies with being a child. We met online a while back and I am proud to say we have become good friends. She is genetically female but has a deep passion to help and nurture sissies/transgendered little girls, she also is caring, understanding and being a little herself understands what it is like to be this way.
We have found we are similar in many ways, our own home situations, the way we want to live, our needs and outlooks. So we can both relate to how the other is feeling. It’s so nice to have another friend in my life, someone to chat with, a shoulder, a playmate.
Evie shares my desire to be fulltime, she wants nothing more than to be able to express the little she is. What is special to me is we have a pure little friendship, like mummy and I are adult/child, Evie and I are little/little, just two kids, two littles.
This is something I am getting more and more comfortable with, being a little, but at the same time as getting more comfortable, I am also getting more frustrated with the adult world. Work stresses me, adult conversations bore me, life scares me. Mummy was always right, I will become more in-tune with being a child as I get older. Paradox lol.
But in all walks of life we need someone to relate with and I have been blessed to meet people who I can connect with as Samantha, they don’t judge, many walk a similar path and all have hearts that are bigger than the moon. At the centre of my universe sits mummy, always and circling like satellites are those who touched me and left pink coloured fingerprints on my very soul.
Evie has a dream. Evie has a glorious dream. She wants to start a pre-school group for littles! We talked about it and it’s such a wonderful notion, create a proper pre-school environment for littles, a daycare if you will. It would be great to be able to express ones self with others, bring out the child that begs to be free in a safe place and learn to play, be silly, have fun.
Have a look at here blog here.
So my sweet little friend, I love you for being you and for being there for me. Huuuuuuuggggggggssssss
September 4, 2012
Ok so you’re a sissy, you loooove being a sissy, you want to express being a sissy. What do you do? Well you get yourself a sissy outfit!!
For the very best sissy dresses, dripping in lace and frills have a peek at the Sissy Store and watch as your eyes pop out of your head. The dresses, outfits and everything else is made of the highest quality and you will ooze when you wear them.
For every sissy, adult baby, sissy maid, prissy sissy, no matter where your sissy heart flutters, there is something for you. It has been important for me to find where we as sissies can buy the outfits that make us feel so feminine and when I first glimpsed the Sissy Store I was amazed. If you have seen Prissies Sissies then you will know what I am talking about.
So take a look and see if your fantasy outfit is waiting for you!
July 17, 2012
I received a lot of comments from Joanne-chan and thought that she deserved a post all to herself. If you click on the image above, taken from her blog (hope that’s ok), it will direct you there.
Since I started this blog, I have met many wonderful people all with their own unique outlook on life and what drives them to do what they do. For myself I have needed an identity, a label if you like to help me fit in the other realm, to justify my motivation in dressing as a little girl. Some don’t need this, others do. Something Joanne-chan mentioned in a comment is something I have been thinking about again, for it is something I have touched upon many times. The word sissy.
I read on an adult baby site someones definition of the word sissy as opposed to using the term “adult little girl” and it was interesting because the basic definition used centred on sissies as more fetish oriented and more along the lines of humiliation, where as “adult little girls” are just being little girls for the love of being little girls. It is a very valid point.
Joanne-chan makes a similar point and it got me thinking, has the word sissy become a by word for the fetish extreme? Does calling yourself a sissy actually mean you want to dress as a sissy, rather than in reality be a sissy? Be yourself? Can the word only be associated with one thing?
You will notice I have said “adult little girl” rather than “adult baby girl”, this is because Samantha still reaches out to the ‘older’ ages, she still see’s 6, 9 and even 12 in her mind, it’s just she knows where her comfort zone is – 2. But more to the point, the ALG is the innocent pursuit of little girlhood, there is no agenda, it is what it is, but sissy means so many different things.
I do however still sit happy with the term sissy for myself, because in my mind the real essence of being sissy, the innocence, the inner beauty holds dear to my heart and I simply cannot abandon the word. I think Joanne-chan expresses it much better than I when referring to her own blog:
While naturally people describe themselves as they feel appropriate, I don’t use the term “Sissy” here mainly because what started out as an innocence wrapped in girlish very feminine attire has become increasingly linked with adult sexuality, that leads those used to that contemporary usage to the wrong idea about me and this blog.
And there is something so much deeper going on for ALG’s, there is a direct link back to the safety of childhood, albeit through the eyes of the other gender. My dreams were (and still are) always about the whole little girl experience, picturing my hair in long braids, wearing a simple but pretty dress, running and playing, feeling those braids bounce up and down, playing dolls, really playing dolls! Being this innocent creation that burns inside, that see’s the world how I once saw it, being free of sexual thoughts, giggling at the silliest things because thats what I do.
I guess there is a fetish side though, lurking deep and I would be dishonest to ignore it, yet it doesn’t drive me nor control me and really is just a small extension to who I am.
Whoops, seem to have gone a bit off track, this post is about a certain blog I mentioned at the start. If you are ALG then I urge you to pop by, have a read and say hello. The ALG community is quite small when compared to the sissy community, what with its complex diversity, so reach out where you can.
Thank you Joanne-chan for taking the time to comment, I loved your blog.