Drifting on a cloud

All my life I have been one of those people who look for safety, somewhere I could feel protection from the world. I remember I never wanted to be the hero or the ’strong’ person, I wanted to be their friend so they would protect me, I never once dreamt I was that person. And when I say hero/strong person I am not talking about just guys, for me the strong people in my life were women, they are my heros. For many sissies there is an element of being forced to dress and the humiliation that that would entail – I’m a guy dont make me dress as a girl – it’s not something that I have ever felt, but there is a misconception that by this feeling they must think women are weak, afterall why would you be humiliated by dressing as one. I don’t believe it is like that, all the sissies I have ever chatted to regard women with high regard and quite rightly so. But I have veered off….

In many ways life for me has been a dream, with me looking down on myself, sometimes wanting to wake up, sometimes wanting the dream to never end. Time is never a constant, it slows down, speeds up – think of it this way, when you have fun, it goes so quick, but when it’s something boring, it seems to go on forever. And as you will all know time often aligns itself with regret, like two kindred allies, seperating them makes them less powerful, banishing regret leaves only time and whilst time can never be conquered, it can be lived with.

Farewell harshness
You have had your pound of flesh
Goodbye forever
I have let go your binding mesh

Hello to softness
You have always been in my heart
Hello forever
Let us never ever part

I’m a sissy
And for this I can be proud
I’m a sissy
Drifting on a cloud

x x x x

Never a man may I be

I am not camp, nor am I effeminate, but I am not a man………… cool. Of-course neither am I a woman, I’m a sissy! The one thing about being a sissy for me is that I am timid and weak and the image the public see is a bit of a  front, my protection if you will and it makes no difference the clothes I wear, I will always be a scared little girl inside. My sanctuary is being held in protective arms, safe from a world that is so big and scary and yet that sanctuary is a million miles away, only resinent in the world of cyber.

And being scared of the adult world is why I so crave to live as a child, with all the restrictions that would bring. The thought of being safe in a pretty pink world of pigtails and dollys, being woken up every morning by a loving mummy who washes and dresses me, changes stinky nappies and holds me close makes me feel so warm inside. But time ticks by in a constant rhythm and I stay rigid to my closet door, knowing the world is there for me to explore yet too scared to go out and be with other sissies as I should be.

So I continue to walk side by side with men, the gruff the growl, before escaping to my room to pretty the drab and dream my dream.

Good to be back *HUGS*

Working and directions

Just a quick up-date, I am working on new posts and a new direction with this blog so do stay tuned!!

Coming back

Ok, so I had deceided to close this blog for a variety of reasons, but I have had a change of heart and this blog will be back in the new year.

Mummy

I have always wanted a mummy figure in my life (real life), someone to care for me and love me because I was a sissy, because I was an adult little girl. It may sound strange but I have wanted to be with someone who would wash me, dress me, even wipe my bum lol. Someone who wanted to do it, wanted to take care of me, someone who wanted the love of a sissy, who didn’t object to dirty nappies. And with that someone, I could truly be the little girl inside and give so much love.

In some ways it sounds selfish to seek someone like this, but it would still be a two way relationship, just not the typical man and woman. I often think that mummy figure would be someone who wants a little girl to never grow up, but I could be wrong, after all I dont know many women who actually want a sissy, other than to dominate one. Sorry not into that.

But I have always needed looking after, craved attention and love, just not been able to do that in a vanilla relationship. I couldnt be with someone who had to put up with the fact I was a sissy, it wouldnt be fair on them. Then theres the fact of my teenie weenie and how I cannot have a ‘normal’ sexual relationship, which I know shouldnt matter but again I couldnt be with someone and expect them to put up with it - OMG that sounds bad lol.

So for me I need a mummy, a mummy to look after me, so I can be that little girl I have always wanted to be. Any takers lol.

Another year older?

I turned 38 today, well my body did, my mind is still set at 9. It was a strange day. I don’t really get excited about birthdays (unless I am having a little girls birthday then.. Yay!) hence why I don’t really tend to advertise the fact – plus I am really bad at remembering other peoples lol. But the end of 37 came with a health scare for me and some bad news concerning my dad. My health scare came (hopefully) to nothing but unfortunatly my dad has cancer which was a bit of a shock. Hopefully, given the type, it is curable, but as you can imagine, my birthday, more than ever did not really feel like a celebration.

But I have to say I was touched by some un-expected e-cards and even a present. So thankyou, meant a lot. I guess I am full of mixed emotions at the moment, trying to be positive about everything. One thing I really have to do is get fit, it’s gone past a mere case of looking healthy, to actually feeling healthy, which I am sure may give me added confidence. I am also going to really try and do other things to maybe turn my life around, I really dont want to be where I am at 40 – ahhhh 40, nope I have said it now – 40, 40, 40! No I mean 9 lol.

 

Now I know many of you are aware of Mistress Julia, well she has re-vamped her website and it is amazing. Also if you go to her sissy page, she has written just the nicest things about me, I blushed. Thankyou Mistress Julia, I am truly touched.

Check out her site here – http://yourmistressjulia.moonfruit.com/

I’m a little girl.. yay!

I am a little girl!!!

I have been having so much little girl time and it has been simply the best!! I just love being a little girl so much and it has been a wonderous experience to shed that pretend man I have to be and just feel so free. For every bad moment in my life, these are the precious moments I live for and it is means a lot to be able to share them with you.

This a little pic of me in my fairy costume. I had a lot of fun being a fairy princess I can tell you!!

x x x

Dreams and friends

I have met some more wonderful people, people who are kind and thoughtful. I am always touched when people take an interest in me. I have to mention Hazel, an amazing woman, who means a lot to me. She has been so sweet and kind. I also cannot forget my dear ’sis’ Mary who is always there for me. To all those I have met, I love you all.

My ‘urge’ to live fulltime as a little girl is still very strong, I am finding it more and more difficult to be an ‘adult man’. I crave an existance where I can let grown up responsibilites fade away and feel safe. I just want to live as a little girl and be happy……… OMG I sound so selfish lol.

Just as I was doing this post I saw a comment come through from a Baby Peter who liked the pictures and wondered if I could add some baby ones so here goes………………….

Mrs Loving

I want to share a site with you – Mrs Lovings Sissy Feminization it is amazing. It is a membership site with lots of videos of sissies being dressed and trained, by loving and understanding women. It is well worth a looky and will def make you jealous of the sissies on there!!

The sissy male

Sorry for not posting much over the last few months, I have found it difficult to think of what to write. However…………..

I have been thinking about why I am a sissy lately, nothing deep, just random thoughts. When you are a guy who dresses as a little girl, these thoughts happen lol. In everyday life, work, walking down the street I am aware I am a sissy, it’s not like I am a guy who just wears little girl clothes, but a guy who is a sissy. It’s the things I do, things that happen, whilst not dressed that remind me I am a sissy. I’m not camp or anything, far from it to be honest, but under that guy exterior, I am shy, timid and well let’s face it… a pansy.

As in previous posts my body betrays my sissiness, well a part of it anyway.. yes a small part hee hee. Having a teenie weenie has defined me as a sissy. I know that not all men with tiny ones are sissies, far from it, but for me it is part of my sissiness. Even if I gave all it all up, never wore so much as a pink ribbon, I would still be a sissy, still have a teenie weenie, still be frightened of sex, still be timid. So I guess little girl clothes are the right choice.

And in this mixed up, crazy world of ours, where life is fragile and happiness a piece of hay in a huge stack of needles, I truly find comfort in the fact I am an adult little girl. I never would have dreamt, as a kid, I would ever have the chance to dress as a little girl, have my own dolls and just be a princess… so for that I am grateful.

Love ya x x x