Emotional Contradiction

I have been reading through some of my blogs and have noticed I am somewhat of a contradiction. I think I have been all my life. It’s the emotions that run through me – one minute I’m sissy, one minute I’m not. One minute I want to be a little girl all the time, the next just sometimes and then sometimes not at all.

I think I have to sometimes take a step back. When I am feeling very sissy, which I admit is a lot of the time, I often feel I could live everyday as a little girl. I let my emotions at the time dictate my thoughts. Then there is the brief snippet of time after I have done squirties that I feel totally ashamed at being a sissy. I feel stupid. This, as I say, is very brief, but in those moments of time, if someone said they could make me no longer be a sissy, I’d say yes.

For my own well being I need to go back to basics. I AM a sissy and that will never change. I will ALWAYS want to dress as a little girl, that too will never change. I AM happy to be a sissy, yes deep down I am happy I am a sissy. So when I feel I want to dress up, then I should try and dress up. When I dont feel like dressing up, then I dont dress up. If I get more sissy, I get more sissy, if I dont, I dont. Does this make any sence?!?! 

I guess this all came about yesterday. This was my sissy weekend, but on Saturday I didnt feel sissy…. at all. So rather than dress for the sake of dressing, I didnt. Even early today I didnt feel that sissy, until a couple of hours ago and BaM I’m in one of my party dresses!!!

I guess you cant plan emotions!

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Big thankyou to mummy who knitted me a lovely dollie top. I’m a bit envious of my dollie!! It really meant a lot to have something so personal. She also sent me a pair of panties that are yummy, yummy, I’ve got love in my tummy.

Thankyou mummy x x x

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Want to say hi to Gina. I haven’t spoken to her for ages, due to one thing or another so hoping that changes real soon. Miss you x x x

Also want to say hi to Rachy and hoping you make a full recovery real soon x x x

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Lastly, I would like to say a big thankyou to all the sissies who have left comments, it means a lot to hear from my sissy sisters!! Stay happy!!

Made up

I am sitting here in my Strawberry Shortcake dress and very full nappy. My ringlet wig is tickling my ears and I feel nice and sissy.

I’m having a sissy weekend this coming Saturday. I plan to stay dressed all weekend and play lots of little girl games and watch lots of Barbie and Disney films. It’s going to be lots of fun. I’ll let you all know how I get on.

Laters!!! 

March of the sissies

I’m sitting here feeling nice and sissy again (when am I not lol!!). I’m wearing one of my white baby type dresses with pink baby petticoat and blonde ringlet wig. It’s amazing how once I’m all dressed up, the stresses of everyday life take a back burner for a little while. Being a sissy is a great stress reliever as long as I don’t agonize over what to wear!!

I saw an advert for the film/documentary ‘March of the penguins’ and thought instead of penguins why not sissies? I had this silly idea of hundreds of sissies all having to make a long journey to find their next dress, avoiding obstacles along the way. Silly eh?

 

Sissy Kiss has had a makeover (something I could do with) and it’s looking wonderful, there is a nice community of sissies there now and I feel I can call it home to some degree. 

Right that’s all for today I’m afraid, one of my dollies needs me. Ta ta x x x

Pinkboy

Today I am wearing one of my pink party dresses with frilly white petticoat in honour of Poppy. I had a lovely little chat with her and we both agreed the best colour in the world is pink. Yah for pink. Poppy has sent me a pair of her used pink satin panties and they are scrummy, I am going to be sniffing them all day!!! And rest assured I will be wearing them too. Thankyou Poppy.

I caught up with Auntie Cindy the other day which as always is great. I love telling her how I am getting on. Have been meeting more sissies online and more and more join Sissy Kiss everyday. It’s so comforting to know there are so many of us out there.

Mummy Honey has dyed her hair pink and it looks amazing. She looks simply stunning.

I am feeling very sissy today, I dont want to take my dress off, unless it’s to change into another!! Mummy was right, I am feeling more and more sissy each day and I’m glad. This is definitely the path I was born to tread. I am much better off as a pink sissy little girl, it’s who I am.

I hope to catch up with you all soon in one way or another. Take care.

Lucky

I’m wearing my blue summer school dress today along with my blonde pigtail wig, I’m being a bit naughty though because I have on a frilly white petticoat which I’m sure isn’t school regulation lol.

I’ve been wearing panties to work again and as always it feels really good. Also, as always, my little sissy clit seems to get a little smaller, which is great because the panties I have worn are really small and cute.

It still gets me, everytime I wear a pair of panties that one of you girls have worn. I think of where they have been and that I am now the luckiest sissy in the world because I am wearing them.

 

A panty sniffer and a sissy. Can a guy be so lucky?

Hug me

The one thing I do love is a cuddle. I’m a sucker for a cuddle. Of course it does depend a bit on the person, Hannibal Lecter is a no no, but I do love a cuddle.

Heres a little pic of me being all shy. Not very good one I’m afraid. I need a better camera (and a better body!!) but I did feel sissy.

Have a good weekend everyone.

You don’t know what you got till it’s gone

My Internet/Outlook had been playing up for a while and on Tuesday it finally gave up the ghost. It was annoying because I had the day off Tuesday and had planned to spend sometime posting, blogging etc. Anyway all sorted now (fingers and toes crossed), but it made me realize how much I missed not being able to log on after just a couple of days.

As I said I had a day off Tuesday and apart from the Net problems I had a really great day. I spent most of it dressed up doing lots of little girl things. I played with my dollies, had a tea party and did a lot of dress up. I really treasure these times, the times I can be me.

I also treasure all my friends I have made in the last year. I cannot belive sometimes how far I have come and it is all down to you, everyone of you. Mummy Honey, who has helped me so much, given me so much. Baby Danielle who has always been there for me. Gina, a true friend, someone I can always go to. Jessica, such an amazing person, who is so understanding and interested in my sissiness. Rachy who has helped me, listened to me. Poppy, a really special person. Lola, a woman that shines and is close to my heart. Elle, so full of life and warmth. Auntie Cindy, someone who I think doesn’t realize how much she did for me and how special she is.

All of you are trully amazing and all of you give me the strenght to be the sissy I am.

I feel myself getting more sissy everyday, I feel myself wanting to explore my sissiness more and more. I want to dress up more and more, I want to be a little girl more and more. I see more and more sissies joining Sissy Kiss which is so heart warming.

Thankyou everyone for being there for me.

Easter good time to be a sissy

I hope everyone had a great bank holiday and didn’t over do it with the Easter eggs!!! My weekend was good, been feeling very sissy the last couple of days so have been dressing whenever I can.

I have been thinking back to when I was younger and all my early sissy dreams. Dreams of sitting in a ladies hair salon having my hair done to wanting to wear a pretty dress to a birthday party. I do remember I wasn’t as sissy growing up as I am now and was quite happy playing ‘boys’ games. I do remember though casting longing eyes of the girls and wishing I could be one of them.

I know I have said in the past, that you shouldn’t look back and regret anything, but I think it’s ok to look back and wonder what may have been as long as you don’t dwell on it. I only say this because I do sometimes look back and wonder what life would be like if I had been more sissy when I was a child. Back then I would have died if someone thought I was a sissy. The old slither of male ego that taps me on the shoulder everynow and then had a bigger say back then.

It does frustrate me sometimes that my male ego still exists, as I see it as a flaw in me. If I’m out I don’t want to come across as weak. But why? What does it matter? But there is this thing in me that puts on a front, as if to say yeah I’m strong like a man. Maybe I don’t want to be seen as un-attractive or weak in front of others, I don’t know. I do know it’s a stupid thing to do, because that’s not me.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t go out and try and be macho, get into fights etc, but I do worry that I look weak. Stupid!!! I guess I never wanted people to know I was a sissy because I am frightened people will see me differently. I will become un-attractive and weak……. but I don’t know why that frightens me.

I know a normal man would be distraught at having to wear girls clothes of any description and would feel less of a man, but that means he thinks woman are weak, which is not the case. I don’t think women are weak, so why am I worried how I am thought of. Maybe I am looking too deep into my own flaws and neurosis.

I guess I wonder sometimes, if I was as sissy as I am now when I was a child then the picture above may have been me. As I say, it’s ok to wonder, just not good to dwell on if’s and but’s. I could’ve wanted to be a girl, I could’ve been born a girl, I could’ve been born a squirrel!!

The main thing, dear friends, is I am very happy being a sissy and I love being a little girl. Now everyone say awwwww!!

I saw my reflection

I saw my reflection
Who is that? Is it me?
Standing so glum
Like a dying a tree

With eyes so hollow
And passion lost
Living their life
But at what cost

A truth far away
Buried deep down
Locked in a box
Like a priceless crown

Then came you
A thousand strong
Arms holding tight
Nothing is wrong

Let light be your guide
Banish all fear
Walk by our side
We will always be near

I saw my reflection
So strange yet so real
My eyes glowed white
I started to feel

I am who I am
And I will always be
With you by my side
I can now be me

x x x

I love panties!!!

It’s such a mixed blessing being a sissy, it can create so many emotions. Some good, some bad. Dealing with all these emotions is the key to happiness. I’m getting there, I have the key and I have found the lock, I’m just turning the it. I look  at the picture above and I relate to it in so many ways, it’s me. Happy, all smiles, loving being a little girl. I’m here!!! Look at me!!! No wait………… I’m shy!!!

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I  panties!!! I am panty mad!!! 

I’m mad, yes you knew that!! I’m panty mad, yes you knew that too. I really am though. Panties to wear, panties to sniff, I love panties. The very word echos through my soul like a key to a far away paradise. From an early age I have been fascinated, bewitched. But to own a pair that have been worn, well my sences simply surrender. That scent, that hidden warmth, that intimacy shared.

I will always love panties….. well I’m mad don’t you know!?! 

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I just wanted to include this pic, I love the big dresses of this era and along with the ringlets I find the whole outfit so appealing. I’m not saying I would like to be Scarlet O’Hara (Clark Gable does nothing for me!!!!) but I do love the ultra feminine frivolity of these outfits.

Alas now, like the film I must be gone. But unlike the film I am leaving the wind behind!!!