My Big Sister Mary

I am a very lucky sissy in so many ways. One of the main reasons I am so lucky is that I have been privileged to have met some truly wonderful and inspirational people who not only know me as a sissy but also accept me as one. From panty girls, mummy’s and sissies I have been blessed to know people who are genuine, caring and understanding.

This post is about one such person and that person is my big sister Mary.

Mary has been exceptionally kind to me and through chatting with her etc, she has become a very special and dear friend. I am happy to regard her as such and also very happy to think of her as my big sis who looks after me and equally thrilled that she sees me as her little sister.

To be able to chat with her as myself has been a real pleasure and through her kindness and keenness to understand my sissiness I have been able to express feelings I cannot in the real world.

So this post is for you big sis, thankyou for being there and I am honoured to call you my dear friend. I hope life enriches your soul as you so deserve it to and you will always be in my thoughts. x x x

Obsession and Sissy School

I have wondered if being a sissy is becoming an obsession and then wondering if there is something that makes you happy in life then maybe it is ok to be obsessed as long as it doesn’t harm you or anyone else. My thoughts of late have been consumed with being an adult little girl, as you may of guessed from my recent blog entries and their frequency. My other passions in life have still been there and I have been fulfilling them but they are not what drives me day in day out.

I know that a lot of my posts have been somewhat deep but I have to write about what is going on in my fluffy head just to get by. There is a light side though, the giggles are still here, the playful little girl I am is still here.

A little while ago I posted my blog on Sissy School and just the other day I received a lovely email form Ms Samantha who is one of the wonderful ladies at Sissy School. I was very touched by it. Sissy School is such a great and important site for sissies and whilst you will find a great variety of sissies there, there is a common thread that goes all the way through and that dear friends is unity. The site is full of fun and thrills (& frills!!) but also a lot of love and support. It doesn’t matter the kind of sissy you are, at the end of the day we are all girls inside and through Sissy School you will find as much support as you need.

A lot of the sissies there are more into being women but there are plenty of little girl sissies and some sissy babies too. Oh and of course lot’s of sissy maids, heck there’s just a lot of sissies there fullstop!!!!

So check it out here if you haven’t already. And a big hello and thankyou to Ms Samantha x x

I just want to say a shout out to Mummy Honey and her partner as they are not having the best of times. They are two wonderful people who have supported me for so long and I care for them deeply. They genuinely care for their friends and are always there for others. Guys you are in my thoughts always x x

I also want to say hello to Poppy, it was so nice to hear from you x x and my big sis Mary x x

And of course a big hello and hug for Sophie. I won a competition she was running to name a new page on her site and I can’t believe it. I’m getting a little gift and I am sooooooooooooo excited. As always Sophie has been so kind and caring to me and she will always be my dear friend. Sophie is also like my second mummy and I love her dearly x x

The total sissy?

So you are a sissy. How far do you go to be a sissy?

You can spend a lifetime searching the net for anything sissy related, you know you are a sissy but you want to work out just what kind of sissy you are. Are you a sissy who wants to be a woman? Are you a little girl sissy? Baby sissy? Sissy maid?

Maybe all the above!!

Of course there are no rules…….. but maybe you want rules. Maybe you want to be told what to wear, what to do. Generally sissies are submissive, weak willed if you like, we need guidance whether from a partner, a mistress or a mummy, but we seek acceptance in what we are.

I know I flick between being a prissy, sissy princess to just being a little girl. I believe I am more little girl than man and I feel that I am growing more sissy. But how far do I go? How far do you go? No limits bar imagination I guess.

But can you be a total sissy, a complete sissy if you do not give in to who you really are, or is that just the fantasy aspect of being a sissy? I don’t know. I mean when I think about it, in the ideal world (or not?) shouldn’t sissies always be in girlish attire? And then at least always in panties!! Or nappies lol.

Is being a sissy truly a lifestyle? Do you want it to be?

I am proud to be a sissy but I don’t broadcast it. Should I? No of course not. But I am also proud to be an adult little girl. So the joys are twofold. I can feel comfort in the fact I am a tiny dicked pansy boy who sniffs used panties and craves to be in a mass of frills and I can also seek solace in the fact I am an adult little girl, that the real me is this sweet little nine year old girl who just wants play with dollies and be hugged by her mummy.

I guess that over the top sissy I am sometimes may be the sexual element to my persona, the exciting, stimulating part. Yes that makes sence. The excitement of having a tiny pee pee, the sniffing panties, the mass of frills. And that time when I am simply a little girl is the real side, the deep inner side of me, the innocence, the pure non-sexual joy of being a little girl, of expressing who I am.

Oh and funny enough sniffing panties fall in both! It is sexually exciting to sniff them, but they also bring me great comfort, like a teddy bear. Hard to explain but the scent is soothing too. I have often drifted off to sleep with a pair of used panties by my nose.

But as I have said before, on the whole being a sissy is not sexually stimulating, but I do get excited now and then, not in ‘manly’ way…. oh me gotta shag way, but in a release kind a way. A way to let those girlie juices inside escape. The time I go squirties!!!

I am not a man

This is not me lol

I’m having some more sissy time today and it’s been so nice. The moment I was dressed I felt so happy. I have been on SK chatting with some other sissies, it’s so nice to chat about being a sissy with another sissy.

It was funny, some idiot crashed the chat room, and just wrote Fags a load of times and that was about it. And then that we bored him (guessing a guy). I had to laugh at the ironic igonorance. I guess the thought of us sissies in our pretty dresses all happily chatting away meant only one thing – Fags! What a horrid word anyway, but one that is so wrong. I wonder about these people. I guess they are brought up in such a way that sissies and gay people etc are seen as weak and that they must be feared. So silly. Just looking at sissies how can they fear us? I’m not exactly a threat in any shape or form. Funny really.

Anyway hope everyone is well out there. I hope that if you are a sissy, then you are getting plenty of lovely dressing time. x x x

Birthday wishes and dreams

I can’t believe I’m heading for another birthday, another year ticked off the old calendar. Birthdays don’t really mean too much. I mean I am going to be 37 in September and I do not feel 37. True sometimes first thing in the morning I feel 87! But on the whole I do feel a lot younger. In fact if I really just let myself be myself then I feel around 9 or 10.

And of course at that age, my true age (?) and being a little girl, then birthdays are very exciting! The thoughts of pressies and parties, being in your fav party dress, thoughts I have had all of my life. Being so jealous of my sister in her party dress and so wanting to be dressed the same. But as a guy approaching 40, birthdays don’t have much meaning.

And now as I get older I feel I want to experience more of what it is like to be a little girl. Birthday party’s, feeding the ducks, going to school etc. Things I can’t do, but things I dream of. But I look back to when I was younger and I think I reached the age of 10 and in many ways stopped growing up, I didn’t want to go to ‘big’ school (heck I didn’t want to leave playgroup!!) because that meant you had to grow up and I wasn’t ready, still am not ready.

I have clung to things from childhood, innocence and imagination like Scrooge clung to his money. Even going further back to wearing nappies as infantile as that is. The idea that you use something that only a baby uses, that you give up using an adult device for such a basic function. Then the ultimate withdrawl of adultness, giving yourself over to someone who will look after you as a child. Changing stinky nappies, bathing you, dressing you and protecting you. And you surrendering, blissfully and completely.

So I find myself, a 9 year old adult little girl, trapped in the body of a 36 year old man, sucumbing to the urges to skip and play and hide and run and with a flutter, say goodbye to the adult world. Like so many sissies, so many adult little girls out there who have fought their identity for so long, I know that being an adult man is the hardest game to play, but play it we almost certainly do.

Frillies are for me please

The sissy lifestyle is one I am embracing more and more. Every morning I wake up, my first thoughts are of being in skirts. The pretend guy I was, is slipping further away, sure some of things I like in the adult world are still here, only I am realizing that they are not guy things, just things a sissy enjoys as well as her dollies.

Mummy Honey once said a while ago, when I first began this blog, that I would become more and more sissy, that I would become happier as a little girl. As always she was right. There has to be a time when you say stop dreaming, start fulfilling.

More and more sissies are starting to explore the sissy community, I would think that around 5 or 6 sissies join Sissy Kiss every week, which is amazing. Go back 15 years and there wasn’t much out there for sissies, AB’s and adult little girls, but this has changed dramatically. As of course has acceptance. Sure it’s not how we would want it to be, but slowly as it becomes more common, it becomes more acceptable. I mean there is a lot worse happening in the world than a load of sissies in pink party dresses!!

So every second I get in my frillies is precious. I understand that I am a little girl inside, I always have been. My life is about being soft and gentle, dainty and prissy. I am a pansy, from the moment I was born I was a pansy. You panty girls who have been so sweet to me, so kind and understanding knew I was just a pansy. You all new that in reality all I have truly needed in life is be seen as a sweet little girl, a sissy who wants big hugs and a reassuring word or two. I Love you all x x x

And even though I can’t dress all the time, or even when I need to I am still a pretty happy bunny!

It’s Sissy Time

I’m finally getting some little girl time, some much needed little girl time. It’s been a bit frustrating of late, but at last I’m in my frillies and as you can imagine it is like stepping into heaven! So as I write this I am in nappy, frilly ankle socks, Mary Janes, pink petticoat, one of my bestest pink party dresses and my trusty ringlet wig. Ruthie is by my side, getting lots of fuss made of her and I am a happy little girl.

I have been chatting to Sophie and my big sis Mary today, they have both been so sweet. Sophie was really hoping I could get some sissy time, so I am sure she will be thrilled. It’s funny really, it’s saturday night and I have been getting messages from friends asking if I fancied going out, having a drink or two, hitting the town, but, however tempting that is, I would much rather be in my frillies. There really is no choice. I belong in skirts and panties, I’m a sissy.

As always I feel very lucky to have met such wonderful genuine caring people. From panty girls to sissies, I have been touched by your warmth and love. Mary is the bestest big sister a sissy could wish for and it gives me great comfort knowing she is out there and in Sophie I have someone who really knows me, what and who I am. Put these two special souls along with Mummy Honey, Mummy Amber and all the other amazing people out there and I am very lucky indeed.

As sissies, we can be a pretty in-secure bunch, we value friendship and long to be loved as the little girls we are, it’s why the mummy figure is so important. Offering love, comfort and guidance the mummy is someone a sissy can look to, just as a little girl looks to her mummy. Of course the same is true of the sister and aunty roles. But any love and friendship means so much, especially when that love comes through because I am a sissy.

Before I pop off I just want to say a big hello to Sissy Gloria and Sissy Karen. HELLO x x x

The ultimate joy

I am in my ’simply a little girl’ mood today. Rather than masses of petticoats and frills, it’s a cute yellow top, and little skirt. I’m just a happy little girl playing with her dollies.

To give you an idea of what my perfect world would be, click onto Karlas World, where you will see pics of her enjoying herself at adult little girl camp in the US here

Isn’t it wonderful? That is how I want to be. There was a camp in the UK, but I don’t think it is on anymore, I have emailed before but never heard anything, but if my numbers come up in the lotto I think my first spending spree would be on airline tickets and new dresses!!!

Click here to find out what they do – here

But it’s that spending time as a little girl, no guy/adult distraction, just the time to be yourself, to be that person who lives inside, that appeals so much. Karla is an adult little girl who has gone past mere acceptance of who she is, to complete embracement and there are many more like her.

Men who are little girls at heart. They have families, ‘normal’ jobs, ‘normal’ lives, but their true identity, the way they want to express themselves is as little girls.

And for me now being a little girl is my one true joy, my ultimate joy. Nothing makes me happier, nothing feels more natural. There is still, sometimes, that OMG I’m a sissy moment. That OMG I’m not a man, I’m a little girl moment, but to be honest, it’s now more a OMG I’m a sissy……….. Hoorah!!! Even when I get down, even when I have those negative times, believe me when I say that I really do love being a sissy and if the choice had to be made between only living as a guy or only living as a little girl, I would choose little girl everytime.

The desire, the need to be a little girl more often is huge and I think that is why I have been up and down. The part of me that has to function as a guy, can’t fully accept that I am becoming more and more sissy and as I become more sissy, the frustration in not always being able to dress sometimes gets to me. But lucky for me I have a great imagination and can drift off to my ultimate joy with just a close of my eyes.

A sissy a day helps you work rest and play

The urge to dress is very constant now. Everyday I think about it in some shape or form. There are reminders everywhere that I am not a ‘man’ that I need to be in skirts. And though the limitations to dress are more than in the past I am not complaining. In-fact it is these limitations, however frustrating, that are spurring me on to create a life that suits my utter sissiness.

I have had my share of dealing with feelings of guilt and shame, I would imagine most sissies have. These feelings in their time have left me numb and scared. But these feelings have dwindled so much in the last few years that the only time I ever get them is directly after going squirties. Even then those horrid feelings only last a few minutes.

The feelings I have about balance etc are still with me, and will no doubt all my life, but the shame and guilt I used to have have all but gone. I have always felt I am a natural sissy, born not made, and the more I learn about myself the more accepting I am of the pansy I have become.

I have been doing some more ‘research’ about the tiny thingy effect. I hope I’m not getting obsessed lol. Anyway I have seen so many sites dedicated to tiny nobs. Many, almost all infact, are linked with humiliation, but I have discovered I may have ‘p***s’ envy. Now stick with me here and let me (try to) explain.

I thought I was small, that my little button was tiny and that made me so happy, but seeing other tiny nobs I have realized that in comparison mine is just a nugget. One I saw was so tiny that it really was no more than a babies and I was soooo jealous! I would love to have one that small!! A tiny thingy defines me, it helps me to feel like the sissy I am.

Whilst a lot of TN’s (tiny nobs) are sissies, there are many who are not. I have read articles from TN’s who describe how they feel so much less of a man due to having a teenie weenie. It has made interesting reading. I can understand that from their point of view. I mean a guy who is a TN, must feel that certain amount of inadequacy when say just walking down the street. A guy with a regular/big nob, will feel it tucked away in his pants, a reminder he is a man, where as a TN like me, doesn’t feel it at all. I mean mine most of the time, is just this tiny, shrivelled little peanut tucked away, no matter how I sit I never feel it.

Of course this suits me, the more it shrivels the better. It’s not a nob for sex that’s for sure! It’s a sweet ickle sissy clittie – just the way I like it!

So the sissy community continues to delight. A very nervous sissy left a message on the forum at Sissy Kiss. Bless her, she was confused with the whole balance thing. Why did she like frillies and sport etc. Well a few of us left her some messages and to our utter joy they really helped. She now realizes she is not alone in her feelings and is so much happier.

And this is why being in the sissy community is so important for me. It gives me purpose, it makes me feel a part of something I actually belong to. Whatever life throws at us, we are all happy in the knowledge that there are others the same, with the same dreams.

I just want to add a big thankyou to those who have left such lovely comments, as always they mean so much. Also a big hello from anyone at Sissy School who has popped in. Sissy School is such a brilliant site for all sissies and I urge any sissy who hasn’t done so to check it out, there is so much there.

x x x

Story time

I’m really excited, yesterday I sat down and wrote a sissy story and sent it to Prissy’s Sissies and today I got a reply from Prissy saying that she loved my story and that it would appear in issue #73 of the online mag. I was so thrilled.

Mummy and I have spoken many times in the past about my writing and I have tried to write things in the past, only to get side tracked and forget about them. I have been working on a small book about being a sissy, but that is going to take a while I feel, however I am going to write more stories, some for Prissy and some for Sissy Kiss. I might do a couple of short stories for here as well.

If you happen to get a copy of Prissy’s Sissies my story is called ‘The Path To Little Girlhood’. I hope you enjoy it.

Take care x x x