Adult little girl V Sissy boy

December 29, 2008

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Firstly I hope everyone had a wonderful xmas and are not feeling too full (was going to put stuffed, but that sounds rude!).

I have touched on this many times before but over the last few months it has been on my mind quite a bit and that is about the two sides to Sissy Daryl.

I have my ultra sissy/pansy side and my little girl side. The sissy/pansy side is the side that loves maximum frills, whilst the little girl side is that nine year old girl I truly am. The sissy/pansy side can be more linked to the sexual side of being a sissy, whilst my little girl side is just me!

The title of this blog may lead you to believe there is conflict between the 2 but there isn’t, sometimes they even blur together, but what you will notice is I have not said anything about a ‘guy’ side. Well that’s because there isn’t one. I have to be honest with myself, I like some things that you may call ‘guy’ things and some things that are ‘adult’, but even when I do these I am still a sissy, still a little girl.

Years of ‘having’ to be a ‘man’ have conditioned me, as has being an adult, but neither are easy. I sometimes see ‘real men’ and wonder what it is like to be like that but I can never become one, nor deep down do I want to. And yet it is difficult to be totally sissy, as I feel I should be, because of all those years of pretending. You see, for me, being a sissy feels like it should be a lifestyle, not a weekend hobby.

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I remember growing up, praying my pee pee would never be big and then trying everything I could think of to prove to the outside world I was a ‘man’. There were so many influences on me at a young age and for years I thought I was the only one. I remember seeing a little girl pagent on the box when I was about 16 and thinking I want to be one of those girls. It was so confusing, I was at an age where I would be leaving school, my mates were all looking to go to college, or out to work, I was part of that but I wanted to be one of those girls. I couldn’t understand why, but something inside me new I belonged with those little girls as one of them.

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I literally ached to be dressed in those dresses and to be pretty, but I couldn’t tell anyone. I had cross-dressed for a number of years but thatwas in womens clothes and whilst that in itself felt natural, nothing felt more right than being a little girl.

Other things on the telly tugged at my heart strings. The old cowboy films with the women in their beautiful dresses made watching those old films a unique experience. As a child I wasn’t as sissy as now, so I spent the films wanting to be both cowboy and lady (as long as the lady didn’t kiss the cowboy lol). But that was strange, I liked being a cowboy and playing those ‘boyish’ games but my heart wanted to be in the dress!!

There was also ‘Little  House on the Prarie’…..

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As a child watching that programme was like seeing my dreams through anothers eyes. Why couldn’t I wear dresses like that? Why couldn’t I have ringlets?

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But now I have found myself, I can wear those pretty dresses, I have a ringlet wig!! I am a little girl!!

What I have noticed is that many sissies are now getting the chance to express themselves more, shaking of the ‘manhood’ that never felt right in the first place and enjoying being soft.

Take care everyone and happy 2009!!!!!

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