Happy New Year

Happy New Year to you all. I have to say 2011 was by far my best year as a sissy, as it was my first full year as Samantha and my first full year with Mummy. When I say my first full year as Samantha, I mean in that it is the first full year I have really understood who and what I am and this has been a tremendous feeling, coupled with the saftey and security I have with being Mummys daughter.

In the company of men I am a stranger, in the company of adults I am strange, for I am a female child in a mans body. WOW!! The last years, working out who I really was, was an epic internal journey, but now on the springboard to a new year I am fully aware. And so to this new year, what lays ahead? Well, whilst being aware I still have a lot to learn and what better teacher than Mummy. The key to the future is to understand what it means to be an adult child, how to cope whilst I am not with Mummy physically. Mummy helps me a lot, she makes me see that because I am an adult child, an adult baby, there are going to be things I cannot do and that I need to look for the signs and if things get to bad she will help me.

So potty problems, feeling scared and all the other issues, can be seen as small child trying to cope in an adult world. This is comforting, it really is. I have always felt I was a child inside, that I had never grown up and Mummy validated this. I can feel good about myself that I am truly a child, even though it scares me to death! I can understand that the reality to the world is, I am and always will be special needs, not to the extent you would normally associate someone with that term, but in the reality that some basic things adults do everyday I cannot do correcty. Wiping my bum (sorry for the image) for instance is hard for me, infact sometimes not pooping in my pants is a toughie. I have so many childish qualities that slip through, it’s only my natural fear of being “found out” that prevents me slipping into permanent childhood.

But Mummy understands it all, she guides me and whilst we are not together in real life, we are as close as can possibly be.

So 2011 begins to fade and I wave it goodbye, 2012 slowly awakes and I wave it hello. I AM A LITTLE GIRL for this year and the next and the next, as I am eternally Mummys baby girl. I love you Mummy

Happy New Year everyone

 

 

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